Adult as Fuck Holiday Parties

This year I've been to several holiday parties that have made me feel like I'm grown up. I don't know if that's necessarily a good or bad thing. These parties revolve around dressing up nicely, bring alcohol and some sort of potluck item for dinner, and apparently normally mass exchanges of recipes for said items.

Now, I'm all for dressing up nicely. I haven't really been able to dress that nicely for the parties since I haven't gone home since tour ended, but I see nothing wrong with looking good. And I know that some people love the idea, but I think I have to come down against ugly sweater holiday parties.  Everyone's trying too hard and no one looks good.

I'm also all for alcohol and delicious potluck items. I think there's a reason that people always gather in the kitchen at parties, and that reason is deliciousness. At one single party I had a delicious bourbon-bake brie with apple slices, pumpkin hummus, amazing spinach artichoke dip, and mini pumpkin chiffon pies. Last night I had so many different kinds of gourmet homemade cookies that they are probably more to blame for this morning's hangover than the 7 beers and several mixed drinks I had last night. I am not a skinny dude. I like food. Food tastes good.

So, by process of elimination, apparently my only real gripe with grown up partying is the recipe exchanging. Can't we just scarf delicious food and not have to listen to how surprised people are about how easy the delicious thing they made is? Let me tell you, none of that shit is actually that easy to make. If it was, you wouldn't talk about it with such pride. People don't brag about their kids because they didn't have to do anything to raise them. Not once have I heard a mother say, "Johnny's so wonderful! All I did was get laid and birth him from my womb and he's just picked up everything up on his own along the way!"

Maybe I'm just jealous that I've never learned how to cook. Or maybe I'd just rather get to scarf snickerdoodles than listen to someone I've just met tell me the amount of time they spent crushing garlic cloves. Either way, I'm not really complaining about the holiday parties I've been to this year. They've been full of good people and I always end up full of good food, drunk and happy. And sometimes (i.e. last night) I get to spend 10 minutes straight joking about the failed softcore porn "Planet of the Rapes".